


Wank Bank

by MrsAlot



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: M/M, Malcolm being an angry Brit, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Other, strange situation, the rest of the crew are not helping, trip being a 'good' friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:28:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27859102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsAlot/pseuds/MrsAlot
Summary: The crew are taken hostage by an unknown race... but one crewman has a particularity unsettling time in the holding cell
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Wank Bank

**Author's Note:**

> just a random little story I've had floating on my computer for what seemed like years.
> 
> thought it was time i got it finished and set it lose in the wild. 
> 
> i always loved the idea that Reed is oh so cool and professional most of the time... until he's pissed or has his buttons pushed and then he just reverts into being a British football hooligan

The command crew had been thrown into a holding cell, one by one they had been brought here, their captors saying nothing just manhandling them into a room with metal cadge bars and leaving them. First had been the Captain and the on duty bridge officers, Hoshi and Travis. Trip and the Doctor had been brought in a short time after. The last to be marched into the holding area were T’pol and Reed who had both been off duty as they had taken the previous night shift.

The subcommand, looking mildly irritated, was bare foot and dressed in what looked like a pair of simply but silky pyjamas. She was shoved in in roughly and followed quickly by the English man who shot the guards an utterly venomous look. Malcolm spat something not very Officer like at the armoured man and he was…. Not as dressed as the composed looking Vulcan by his side. 

Not that being practically naked with your fellow crewmates was an unusually for the Enterprise crew. They’d all seen each other enough times in their underwear and various stages of undress that it barely registered to most of them anymore as something that might be embarrassing. Being all but naked was not the problem right now… it was what the Englishman was wearing that was causing some raised eyebrows… He was dressed in only a pair of rather snugly fitting, black boxers, decorated with tiny pineapples… and the word ‘Juicy’ emblazoned just above the butt.

“Those are not Starfleet issue Lue-tenet.” Trip sniggered, finding humour despite the situation. Even in the face of being imprisoned for unknown reasons by a foe they could not identify, the commander still could find time to poke fun the Brit. Reed gave the commander a scathing look. Knowing precisely what he was referring to, the dark haired shifted from one bare foot to the other.

“I’ve been busy… I let my washing slide a little, okay!” Malcolm ground out. Folding his arms across his bare chest. “These were all I had.” He grumbled, cheeks tinted a little pink. Knowing full well that Trip was just teasing, trying to get a rise out of him. It seemed to be one of his friend’s favourite past time. The blond man gave an exaggerated gasp.  
“What would the admiralty say!” Trip said dramatically, making the rest of the crew chuckle despite the situation. Trip was honestly just doing it to keeping everyone’s spirits up. Even if it was at his friends expense… That and it was just too good an opportunity to pass up.

“For Christ sake I was asleep! I wasn’t expecting to be pulled from my bunk and thrown in a brig in just my pants!” Malcolm ranted. The tips of his ears starting to go red with embarrassment. “Would of thought they’d have had the common decency to let a man change into some cloths before imprisoning him.” He groused, rubbing his arms a little against the chilly air in the room.

“Where the hell did you get those anyway?” Hoshi grinned. Quietly admiring the man’s novelty and suggestive garment… and the security officers tight, well-toned bottom and thighs.  
“My sister…” Malcolm sighed, finely, letting the annoyance drain form him. Resigning himself to the fact that his fellow humans were not going to let this lie so he might as well just get over it and go along with the humiliation. “They were a birthday gift.”

“Dose anyone know who these people are?” Travis asked up, looking through the bars at the guards milling around.  
“No idea.”  
“I do not recognise the species.” T’pol said clasping her hand behind her back. “But the fact they haven’t harmed us is a positive.”  
“Have they told you anything?” Malcolm asked  
“Nope, no clue what their problem is.” Archer muttered, dragging a hand over his face. “How are we supposed to figure a way out if no one will talk to us?” 

The crew quietly talked options, ranging from peaceful negotiation to an all-out jail brake with the old ‘help someone’s sick’ routine. But while T’pol was questioning just how they were going to subdue armoured and armed guards with no weapons or idea where they actually were; the Chief engineer’s eye was caught by one such man hovering outside the cell.

The alien, even with the strange scales dusting over his forehead, down his nose and temples, would be considered attractive. Black hair, strong jaw, stubble, broad shoulders in dark overalls and body armour. He seemed to be watching one particular member of their little gang quite avidly. His vivid, almost luminous green eye’s trailing over his crewmates form with clear, unbridled interest. A not so subtle, somewhat deviant smile playing on his lips as his gaze lingered far too long on the exposed body. Trip had to bite the inside of his cheek to stifle a snigger.

The day just kept getting better….

“Hay. Don’t look now Malcolm… But I think you got an admirer.” Trip smirked, elbowing him. Reed frowned at him and the engineer just nodded over with a grin. The security officer looked over his shoulder, quickly seeing the man in question. They looked at each other for a long moment. The guards smiled only widened as he gazed appreciatively at the Englishman’s direction. The earth crew didn’t miss the slight tint now colouring he Brits cheeks, but Reed quickly covered it by turning aggressive.

“Wot?! What are you lookin’ at?!” Malcolm snapped, whirling round and spreading his arms, in a ‘come at me bro’ way. “Why don’t you take a picture?! It’ll last longer! You bloody pervert!” Malcolm growled darkly. It always shocked the Enterprise crew how lieutenant Reed could be so cordial and gentlemanly one moment, only to turn into a scary angry hooligan the next. 

Granted it only seemed to happen when the crew was in danger, he felt like he needed to protect them or when he felt threatened, but still; They could literally feel the change in his energy as the small man gave off as he shifted from one to the other in a matter of seconds. It was like someone flipping a switch. The effect could be very jarring and to those not used to it… highly intimidating. 

It even seemed to work. To his credit, the guard did look taken aback, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. Malcolm continued to stare him down (as much as a man could do in nothing but his underwear) as the alien reached behind him to a pouch on his belt. A moment later he pulled out a purple, rectangular object and held it up. A sly grin on his handsome face as he pressed something on its surface. An oddly familiar sound of something like a shutter filled the room. Everyone knew what had happened. The look of indignant shock on the lieutenant face was priceless.

Trip was now nearly wetting himself laughing. Doubled over and holding onto the wall for support. Archer was trying really hard not to join his old friend for the sake of Malcolm’s dignity, but he was struggling and resorted to hiding his face in his hand as he let his shoulders shake in silent laughter. Despite the situation, maybe even because of it, it just made it so much funnier. Hoshi and Travis didn’t even try to hide their giggles. Phlox looked mightily bemused with the whole thing while T’pol just looked bored of the idiotic situation.

The alien guard, look at the what they guessed was the screen and nodded in satisfaction. Looked up, the dark haired man grinned devilishly and twirled his finger around, clearly indicating he wanted the Brit to turn round for a nice shot of his backside. That was enough to shake the Englishman out of his stupor.

“FUCK RIGHT OFF, YOU FUCKIN’ BASTARD!” Reed yelled venomously, actually flipping the double bird, he was in such a rage. The outburst only made the human Enterprise crewmen guffaw and laugh harder. Commander Tucker, ever the supportive friend, was now on the floor, struggling to breath.

The alien guard laughed brightly, held up his hands in defeat, knowing he’d pushed his luck already. He just put the device safely away back in its pouch and lent against the wall, continuing to watch the Englishman now with clear amusement and dare they say… a little affection.

“I don’t bloody believe it…” Malcolm said, his tone one of utter disgust.  
“I’m sorry to say this lieutenant, I think you’ve just been wank banked.” Hoshi sniggered.  
“Oh, you can just shut up!” Reed spat down at his so called friend, folding his arms over his bare chest as he seethed. Trip ignored him and just continued to hyperventilate.  
“Wank Banked?” Phlox asked curiously. “I’m not familiar with this term.”

Travis then, all to eagerly, informed the good doctor of what it exactly the phrase meant.

Malcolm groaned in frustration, hiding his own face in humiliation… Knowing full well if they managed to get out of this cell alive… He was never… EVER… going to live this down.


End file.
